Um. Does anyone else dislike Kadam because Adam is too good for Kurt?
I mean, I think it’s messed up that Kurt slept with another guy behind Adam’s back. And sure, he says they’re not exclusive, but isn’t the point of an open relationship that you’re OPEN and HONEST with each…
kurt did not sleep with adam behind his back. this whole thing can be traced to ONE THING and one thing only, do you take kurt hummel’s word for it when he says things? kurt said in ‘i do’ that he and adam weren’t exclusive. do you believe him? why not? does he have a track record of lying or manipulating people or neglecting peoples’ feelings for his own personal gain? he does not. not since s1 when he had that crush on finn…
Basically approving of this whole takedown. Kurt haters are always going to find ways to make him wrong, and I’ve seen him attacked over the flimsiest reasons (usually daring to stick up for him or not flinging himself under a bus for Blaine), but if you have to choose to believe that he’s lying, and that he’s lying in ways that are not going to get him what he wants. Which is stupid. And there is a difference between Kurt evading a public confrontation in front of Santana and Rachel and boldly lying to Adam’s face… which he doesn’t do. When Adam asks, he answers.
Also Adam either knows about sleeping with Blaine at the wedding, or doesn’t care. Or if it bothers him, it’s not worth his time to find out if the guy he hasn’t been exclusive with has not been exclusive. He’s astute. He notices Kurt crying when he’s not even able to see his face. He’s not so dumb that he can’t see what Santana was implying about the wedding, and does he ask: “Did you have sex with Blaine?”
NO. He asks if Kurt sang that song with him, if he still loves him. And Adam’s asking if Kurt’s using him. And Kurt says no. But he’s trying “desperately” to get over Blaine. (Not just the ILUs and the feels, but also the heartbreak. Or he wouldn’t be distance and crying about that song. It would be a warmer memory.)
And that’s what Adam needs to know. Before we go forward, am I a serious option or just a stop before you go back to someone else? After THAT, that’s when they go forward.
I loved that Adam never bothered to ask if Kurt slept with Blaine at the wedding. He asked about the duet, the one he now knows Kurt felt to be “more intimate than sex”. They were not exclusive, so he had no claim on who Kurt chooses to share his body with, but he was worried about Kurt’s feelings, and where he (Adam) fitted in Kurt’s life.
Could Kurt have behaved more maturely during this whole thing? Probably. But I see this storyline as Kurt growing up and entering a mature relationship, which means there’s a progress from his first actions to where he is now. Sleeping with Blaine was not his best decision. Keeping it a secret may not have been either, but that’s debatable. He wants to move on, but he’s still hurting a lot. And Santana forced some truths out that he wasn’t ready to vocalize yet.
(By the way, I don’t think the comparison with Brochel is fair. Brody and Rachel lived together, had discussed their relationship, and agreed to be non-exclusive-but-honest — and then, of course, both broke that promise. We don’t know that Kurt and Adam ever promised to tell each other everything about other hookups. All we know is that they were not exclusive at that point.)
But then we get to the studio scene, and there’s a huge step forward. Adam is straightforward in his questions. Kurt is honest in his answers, admitting that things aren’t perfect, but that he truly wants to move on. And Adam accepts things as they are, accepts Kurt as he is, with all his baggage.
Does Adam deserve better? Hard to say. No one is perfect, I’m sure he has some skeletons in the closet, just like everyone else. I’m looking forward to learning about them, actually. But Kurt did nothing malicious so far towards Adam, even if it’s possible he might have made some mistakes.
(And for the record: I don’t believe cheating on someone is ever “just a mistake”. If you promised fidelity, it’s your responsibility to keep that promise. If you can’t deliver, break your relationship before breaking your promise. There’s no “Oops, I fell on that guy’s dick by mistake, I thought he was an armchair.”)
first of all, we don’t even know Adam. we don’t really know what he deserves, if there actually is such a thing when it comes to relationships. so you can’t exactly say that he deserves better. or worse, for that matter.
secondly, Adam knew what he was getting into. both times. even from his first interactions with Kurt he could see how the relationship with Blaine affected Kurt. he agreed to go out with Kurt anyway at first, and later he assured Kurt and he was still willing to try and give his best to make it work.
thirdly, if we’re discussing the wedding hook-up, it’s a question about who manipulated whom, Kurt -> Blaine or Blaine -> Kurt. let’s start with the fact that Blaine uses sex as means of manipulation. he decided to have sex with Kurt in order to perfect his performance as Tony (and unlike Finn, Kurt never found out about it). in DWS we found out that Blaine was withholding sex. yes, it was a part of the whole “trial separation while still officially being together”, but still. the whole idea was idiotic.
here’s a thing. I think Blaine’s behavior changed drastically after their phone talk on Thanksgiving. before it he was just a teenager who was desperate to try and make his ex come back to him after he’s screwed up, and he was certain he lost Kurt forever (that’s how I see it). but after the talk he got cocky, he heard Kurt say “I’m just not there yet” and ILY and “you’re my best friend” and he thought it was just a matter of time before Kurt his again. and he certainly had the same mindset before the hook-up. it wasn’t KURT who was leading Blaine on, it was Blaine’s sureness about their endgame status.
and I don’t really understand what exactly you mean by saying he led Blaine on after he said more than once that it didn’t mean anything and Blaine parroted those words each time. (it’s the same logic as when people say “when a woman says NO it means YES BUT LATER”). and unlike what happened in Finchel where Rachel KNEW about Finn’s feelings and intentions and what the hook-up would mean to him, Kurt didn’t. hell, at the same time Blaine was also in love with Sam, and that crush didn’t go away after the hook-up (like most of the fandom thought it would). so maybe Blaine’s behavior somehow showed Kurt that the hook-up wouldn’t mean that much to Blaine anyway, that he wasn’t hurting anymore.
PS I still agree that both Kurt and Blaine are bad for each other, I’m not sure Kurt’s can be called good boyfriend material even though I’m a crazy Kurt stan.
PPS It’s sad that we have to understand Kadam through Brochel even though the situations are so different.
As I said in the original post, I agree that Kurt and Adam aren’t exclusive- I never said he lied abut that. I guess we don’t know the exact rules of their relationship, but I’ve never heard of a relationship where you don’t even bother to disclose whether or not you’re sleeping with anyone else. I don’t do monogamy at all, so I’ve had lots of open relationships, and I’ve never known anyone who would find it acceptable for someone to be having sex outside the relationship without even mentioning it to the other partner.
And Kurt does straight up lie to Adam when he tells him he’s not crying and says some stupid thing about contacts that don’t exist- if he just didn’t want to discuss it in front of Santana, he could have just said, “We’ll talk about it later” rather than lying.
About whether the manipulation was Blaine to Kurt or Kurt to Blaine…can’t it be both? Blaine said that the sex was just “bros helping bros” and he was clearly lying. So there’s Blaine’s manipulation. But Kurt HAD to know he was lying. I mean, ever since the breakup, Blaine made it very clear that he still loved Kurt and wanted to get back together. He’d been saying that same thing to Kurt for months- did Kurt really think that Blaine had just suddenly gotten over him and no longer wanted to get back together with him…and that Blaine then decided to celebrate his new-found apathy for Kurt by trying to sleep with him? Come on, Kurt isn’t that stupid. He knew.
They were BOTH lying to and manipulating each other with the wedding sex. And I doubt Kurt has any idea that Blaine is in love with Sam. Kurt and Blaine hate communicating with each other and they love lying to each other and hiding things from each other, so I really doubt that’s the kind of thing Blaine would disclose to Kurt. Blaine feels comfortable being honest and open with Sam, but he’s never done that with Kurt.
And for the record, I don’t hate Kurt. I just think he’s bad boyfriend material and needs to grow up and learn to communicate before he gets into any kind of romantic relationship.
Blaine was obviously a bad boyfriend to Kurt but he treats Sam much better.
It seems like everyone in this fandom is either “Kurt is perfect and Blaine is the actual devil and I hate Klaine” or else they’re “Blaine is perfect and Kurt is being a jerk to him and I ship Klaine,” but can’t we all just agree that Kurt and Blaine have both treated each other horribly and that Klaine ruins BOTH their characters?